Born to Blossom, Bloom to Perish

He’s just not that into you.

I read the book, I saw the movie and still I sit here making excuses for uinexcusable thing. Ex.: He texts me all day, until he goes out. My thoughts: “He’s busy, he’s having a good time, he rarely goes out..” But I know that He SHOULD want to. He SHOULD want to text me at least to say “hi” or to see how I am doing. Maybe I am just selfish and needy.. Who knows.

Tonight he was going out. (I’m not jealous or insecure in myself in the least, btw) And like a fool I waited by my phone all night. I convinced myself if he did contact me I wouldn’t respond right away or at all tonight. 5 minutes later.. I receive a text from him and what do I do? Respond right back. Once again I am left hanging. He didn’t respond back. Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill, but if you claim “its different” this time, it SHOULD fucking be different.

I think I’ve convinced myself that it is different this time. And I have good reason to have. The things he says are different, the things he does are different, and he IS different. Tonight is making me rethink that if things really are different. I want to believe things are different, things are going to work out, but I can’t if the other person doesn’t prove it to me. I have nothing to prove. I’ve been nothing but amazing to him. I’ve listened to his sob stories, his life stories, I’ve seen him almost break down in tears, I’ve given him rides when he was too drunk too. I just don’t understand why someone can’t truly care about ME the way I care about people.

Maybe I care too much. Or maybe I just care about the wrong people.