Born to Blossom, Bloom to Perish

Someones bound to hear my cry.

I ended up at the same park my mom use to run away too when her marriage got bad. I sat in my car with tears rolling down my face. I watched people, I saw the cars go by, but most of all I sat waiting for your response to a text. At this point I’m not sure what we were arguing about. I’m not really sure what reaction I was trying to get out of you. But I never get what I want.

Maybe I want a scene straight out of a movie where the girl is crying, screaming and the guy just comes, hugs her and never lets her go. Or maybe I just want reassurance. Or maybe this is something I’m not ready for.

I’ve never seen a healthy relationship unfold before my eyes. I don’t blame anyone but my father. The root of all evil isn’t money, it’s my father. I know this, I know where all my pain comes from but I don’t know how to deal with it in an appropriate manner. I think getting a reaction shows someone cares. I think actions speak louder than words. And I don’t think you’re being honest with me or yourself.

I’ve always been that girl. And that girl not in a good way. I was that girl you could always come back to. I was that girl who dropped anything for you. I was that girl who rescued you when you needed something. And that’s where I went wrong. YOU should have been the one doing that. You should have dropped everything for me, you should have rescued me. But instead I never got rescued just rejected.

I try to tell you these things but I always become ‘dramatic’ or ‘crazy’. I’m sorry I show emotion, I’m sorry you don’t know how too.

I’m just sorry
because you’re not.